9 de julio de 2011

How to order a round in a pub

How to order a round in a pub

Get it right when ordering drinks in pubs!

Excuse me! …Excuse me!...No...

Man: Always busy here on a Friday night!

Woman: (to barman) Sorry! Could I just have a...

Man: Patience and persistence!

Woman: Ahh, finally. Yes, erm ok, I’d like a beer, please! Sorry? what kind? (Man rolls eyes) A beer? Erm, lager, please. Yeah, that will do. Sorry, what? Half pint or a pint? (To man) How big is a pint?

Man: (gestures with hands, size of a pint)

Woman: Yes. OK. A pint.

Man: Ok, great, I’d like a...

Woman: Oh, sorry. Two pints of lager, please.

Man: OK great, I’ll have...

Woman: Oh…and a packet of crisps. (To man) Sorry. (To barman) What flavour? Erm, let me just check. (Turns round and shouts) What flavour? (Turns back) Cheese and onion.

Man: OK give me...

Woman: And a glass of wine. Red, please. Yes, I’m sure that’s it. Thank you. How much is that? (starts to look for wallet) Let me just check my wallet. I’ve got five, and that’s another six.

Man: (with note already in hand) OK great, I’d like a pint of bitter and two halves of lager please. Cheers. Keep the change. (To woman) That’s how it is done!

How to turn down an invitation

How to turn down an invitation

Have you ever been invited to a party that you didn't want to go? Find out how to turn down unwanted invitations in the future.

Man: Oh no!

Woman: What is it?

Man: “Josh and Henrietta would like to have the pleasure of your company at a drinks party, next Saturday evening...”

Woman: Oh no, Josh and Henrietta... they’re not that couple who...?

Man: Yeah exactly! And it gets worse...

Woman: How?

Man: “Formal dress...”

Woman: Argh.... it means you’ve got to wear a suit....

Man: At the bottom it says “RSVP”. What does it mean?

Woman: You’ve got to reply.

Man: But I don’t want to go, so what can I say?

Woman: Tell them you’ve got a dentist’s appointment.

Man: Josh is my dentist!

Woman: Tell them it’s your grandmother’s 100th birthday party.

Man: But they know my granny died ages ago.

Woman: Tell them your dog’s sick and you’ve got to take him to see the vet.

Man: It’s no use – I’m just going to have to tell them the truth...

Woman: The truth? “I’m not coming to your birthday party because I think you’re boring and stupid?”

Man: Maybe not then...

Woman: Tell them this: “I’m unable to attend because I have a prior engagement.”

Man: “Prior engagement”?! And… they won’t be offended?

Woman: Absolutely not.

Man: Perfect!